Parents offer 24-year-old son and roommates to move into their rental instead of paying for an apartment, roommate's dad accuses them of overstepping: ‘You're spoiling my kid’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Nov 11, 2025 3:00 PM EST

The years when one is considered a "young adult" are some of the most confusing times in a person's life, for many, many reasons.

We can spend hours discussing how difficult it is to enter the real world, find yourself, and figure out how you're supposed to get on with life. But on top of all those challenges, there is one that no one really thinks about–our parents.

The way our relationship changes when we switch from being teenagers to young adults is a challenge people rarely expect. Some parents quite literally throw their children out of the nest, fully expecting them to find their own way in the world. While other parents refuse to come to terms with their children growing up, and insist on still treating them as kids, which can be just as challenging as getting thrown out.

The girl in the story below is currently experiencing both the former and the latter approach by her father. On one hand, he wanted her to find her own way and didn't let her keep living at home, insisting she had to pay rent. On the other hand, once she got an offer to live with a friend for free, he got annoyed that the offer didn't go through him first, like she wasn't old enough to make her own decisions…

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10572534528
    via fotostorm

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    When my mother died 15 years ago, I inherited her home. It's smaller than my own house, so my husband and I decided we would rent it out.
    via rentfreeliving2
  • 03
    It's already paid off, so we were making a decent profit off of it. Other important players in this story.
    via rentfreeliving2
  • 04
    My husband and I have been friends with "Sam" and "George" since we were in college.
    via rentfreeliving2
  • 05
    We all have kids of similar ages and they are close friends. The relevant children here: our son "Henry" (24), Sam's son "Kyle" (23) and George's daughter "Anne Marie" (24).
    via rentfreeliving2
  • 06
    Henry and Kyle are in grad school, working part time. Anne Marie finished grad school in the spring and recently started her first "big girl" job, as she calls it.
    via rentfreeliving2
  • 07
    Originally, the 3 of them. were sharing an apartment in a bad part of town. We didn't love that the kids were doing this, but they wanted to be independent and be on their own, and this was all they could afford.
    via rentfreeliving2
  • 08
    However, after a couple of incidents in the building, I came to the kids with an offer: if they cover the bills on our rental, we won't charge them rent and they can live there.
    via rentfreeliving2
  • 09
    We won't profit off it anymore, but I'm okay with that, if it means the kids have a safe place to live.
    via rentfreeliving2
  • 10
    The kids were on board with this and thanked us. I didn't even think about asking our friends about this, because the "kids" are all adults.
    via rentfreeliving2
  • 11
    Sam and his wife were cool with this. George, however, is irritated with us. He says one of the reasons Anne Marie moved out is because he wanted to charge her rent to teach her responsibility and she said if she was going to pay rent, she might as well have her own space.
    via rentfreeliving2
  • 12
    I pointed out that she will still be responsible for bills (the 3 of them are splitting the bills evenly), just not rent.
    via rentfreeliving2
  • 13
    He feels like this is "spoiling" the kids and wants me to not let Anne Marie live there.
    via rentfreeliving2
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10572534784
    via AntonioGuillem

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    I said I'm not going back on this, as that wouldn't be fair. My husband, Sam, and Sam's wife are on my side, though my husband feels like we should've asked George first before offering this to Anne Marie.
    via rentfreeliving2
  • 16
    I think that's absurd because she's an adult, this is our property, and we can do what we want.
    via rentfreeliving2
  • 17
    But am I being an asshole by offering this and not running it by George first?
    via rentfreeliving2
  • 18
    inturnaround NTA. He doesn't get to decide what is right for his child when she's an adult. It would have been insulting to Anne Marie if you consulted her daddy to see if she could live where she wanted to live. You'd be taking away her agency and giving it over to her father. It was kind of you to make that offer. I understand why you did it and I agree with you that it was the best move given the circumstances and your very real concern about their safety.
    via inturnaround
  • 19
    Jerseygirl2468 NTA she's 24 years old, many years into adulthood. It's your property to do with as you wish, George has no say in any of it.
    via Jerseygirl2468
  • 20
    NTA Thelostgirl1967 As you said, Anne Marie is an adult. Also what is George thinking. He wants his daughter, a young woman, to struggle to pay rent and live in a bad neighborhood where she could be hurt. Rather than let her live somewhere safe because she's not paying rent? You said she's paying bills, isn't that responsibility?
    via Thelostgirl1967
  • 21
    ReadMeDrMemory NTA. "she's an adult": check. "this is our property": check. "we can do what we want": check. Thank you helping a 24-year-old woman gain independence. Her father creeps me out.
    via ReadMeDrMemory
  • 22
    AnagnorisisForMe Anne Marie is gainfully employed, 24, with a graduate degree. In other words an adult. IDK why you would need to ask and adult's parent if you wish make a generous offer like this. George wants to charge her rent for his own reasons. It's obviously not to teach her discipline. She went to college, grad school and is working. She has discipline already. ETA: George is the AH.
    via AnagnorisisForMe
  • 23
    ccam04 NTA. You're entering into an agreement with consenting adults. You don't require anyone else's permission and you honestly don't owe it to the parent to get their say so. You have really good intentions in keeping these young adults safe. Kudos to you. Forget everyone else who tries to make you feel like an AH about it.
    via ccam04
  • 24
    TerrifyinglyAlive NTA. He doesn't get to decide his adult daughter's living arrangements anymore. It's not his call. Plus she has multiple degrees and has already moved out of her parents' home, I guarantee she already understands how to be responsible. He's not making any sense.
    via TerrifyinglyAlive
  • 25
    ThePlumage NTA. George doesn't get to dictate the living conditions of someone in her 20s if his property and his money are not involved. It's sad that he's more concerned about whatever "lesson" he's trying to teach her than he is about her safety. He's also not considering that sometimes in life, you get lucky, and you should take advantage of those opportunities while you have them because you never know when you'll fall on hard times. Since Anne Marie isn't paying rent, perhaps he can urge (
    via ThePlumage

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